If heart mamas ruled the world…

…I think this would be an excellent start. Although there’s no way this is an exhaustive list by any means.

1. There would be no 4 a.m. x-rays followed by 6 a.m. weight checks.

2. Every child would be required to have all vaccinations unless an actual medical doctor has given a reason that a particular vaccination would be unsafe. (Quoting Jenny McCarthy as a medical expert would be an offense punishable by jail time. She was a playboy bunny. And that’s way different than a medical doctor.)

(Does anybody else think “playboy bunny” should be capitalized? That just seems wrong.)

3. People who don’t like children would not go into pediatric medicine.    (This seems like a no-brainer.)

4. All hands and stethoscopes would always be warm.

5. Nobody would ever forget to “pump in” or “pump out.” (That’s hospital lingo for using the hand sanitizer upon entering and exiting the room. Another seemingly no-brainer.)

6. IVs would always be gotten on the first try.

7. No medicine would taste like hate giftwrapped in vomit.

8. All pediatric doctors would ditch the ties or only wear bow ties like the old-school days.

9. All PICU/CVICU rooms would have a single bed for a parent to room in with their child.

10. Patient- and family-centered rounds would be the norm–not the exception.

11. At 4 p.m. the cafeteria people would bring by chips and salsa and one margarita…just to take the edge off. I could foresee a potential problem with a children’s hospital procuring a liquor license. However, we know hospitals have access to the good stuff, so in the alternative, I think we could get by with a Snickers bar and a Xanax from the vending machines.

Have you sat bedside with a critically-ill child? What would you add to the list? I invite you to leave a comment below. And I hope you guys have a great weekend.

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9 thoughts on “If heart mamas ruled the world…

  1. My experience in sitting by a critically ill patient has not been of the pediatric variety, but i surrender to your expertise and affirm that these are excellent guidelines (with some rewording) for all medical situations of the more serious variety. I esp love the idea about 4 p m “Happy Hour” observance.

  2. 1. No medical personnel would enter a room without acknowledging the person sitting with the patient and would always ask the person’s relationship to the patient.

    2. No medical personnel would start any kind of procedure or treatment without explaining why and what they were doing to the person sitting with the patient.

    3. No medical person would ever refuse to answer questions asked and would NEVER have a impatient or negative attitude about it.

  3. NICU or PICU staff woul be fired immediately for discussing unimportant gossip BS about famous people in front of parents on what is the WORST DAY OF OUR LIVES!

  4. My experience with this in a NICU setting is to begin later this month. They tell us to expect our grandson to be there or the cardiac recovery area for most of the first month of his life. He will need the first of three heart surgeries before he can go home. Doing what we can to get things and ourselves together for the roller coaster ride to come. I hate when staff doesn’t interact and engage in conversation if I am the person at the bedside. I also hate running out of tissues

  5. Cha Cha i’ll be thinking about you, so sorry you have to go through this. Forget the tissues take a roll of paper towels!

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